Here Nor There

There is a collection of Irish poems from Bernard O’Donoghue – a Cork-born poet – called Here Nor There.  Its theme focuses on finding oneself in this middle sort of ground, where the emigrant no longer truly belongs in their homeland. This spoke to me as I emigrated from Ireland to Canada nearly 17 years ago. Seamus Heaney uses the same words in his poem Postscript but in a different context, sort of like one needing to be fluid yet being in the moment.  So two different perspectives but similar all the same.  This is where I find myself these past few days:  Neither Here Nor There.

My sister called last Saturday Global Crap Day and it was.  I realize I have gone from sage words from two of Ireland’s greatest poets, to what could be construed as a rather crass term, but heck, I have never claimed to be a poet. It was Global Crap Day because first of all, my mother suffered a stroke.  She is doing as well as can be expected given the other health complications she has.   The next few weeks will tell us the long-term prognosis but otherwise she is not in any further danger thankfully.  My sisters in Cork are doing a fine job of supporting her through this period, I am fortunate they are there to do so.

Secondly, my very good friend and all-round Construction Magician Brian succumbed to a massive heart attack also on Saturday.  What a shock!  I will miss him an awful lot.  As will Beverley, his children and many on Bowen who loved his droll sense of humour and directness.

Thirdly, my cousin’s partner of many years also died suddenly in Madrid.   He was far too young to die, he had too much life to still live.

And to add fuel to the fire, Ireland lost the Grand Slam, beaten by England in their Six Nations meeting …. but only just beaten.

So today , I find myself Neither Here Nor There.  That feeling of being discombobulated that can be so bewildering.  That in between place where I am neither home on Bowen nor in Ireland with family. I am here in Bhainsepati, Nepal.  In the here and now.  And I am sad.  But I am grateful. Grateful for the family and friends I have who love and support me.  Grateful for this wonderful time I am having in Nepal with SIRC.  Grateful for the interest many of you have in this journey I am taking.  Grateful for being able to live the life I want.  Grateful for my good health and resilience. I have much to be thankful for.  Here.  Right Now.  I am Here.

About Kate Coffey

After 25+ years in the investment management industry, I packed in my job and spent 2014 living and working in Nepal and Bangladesh, and visited some other places in between. It took me on a journey I did not expect, had me fall in love with Nepal and it's people, and become inspired at the work of Spinal Injury Rehabilitation Centre (SIRC) located 2 hours east of Kathmandu in the Sanga foothills. Since 2014, I have continued my warm relationship with SIRC and worked closely with my friends there in the aftermath of the 2015 earthquakes to date. This blog initially started out as a travelogue of sorts to keep friends and family worldwide updated while I was off on my travels in 2014. Since then it has morphed into a life story of the many places I have lived and worked and of the wonderful people I have met along the way. I hope you enjoy.
This entry was posted in Nepal and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to Here Nor There

  1. says:


    I am so sorry to hear all your bad news. Hope ur Mother is doing better. Thinking if you and thanks for reminding me about Here nor there, I feel that way a lot these days. Must look up the poem again.

    Anne Marie

    Sent from my HTC

  2. LJ says:

    Sending warm, healing thoughts your way… and big hugs from both of us… L.

  3. jennifer carlington says:

    Hi Kate, sorry to hear about such a lot of sad news in a short space of time. We will support Bev as best we can and I hope your mam makes a good recovery, carry on with all your good work and keep the photos coming (although no need for any more goat sacrifices thanks )
    take care luv Jen Phil Emily

  4. Miriam says:

    Kate, I am sorry about the painful news, am praying for strong recovery for your mom and am myself thankful for the tremendous impact you are making where you are! Generations will reap the benefits of your work there!


  5. Katherine says:

    Hi Kate,
    I’m sorry about all the ‘crap’ coming your way and wishing all the best for your mother. I appreciate your thoughts about gratitude. It’s sometimes easy to lose sight of the blessings we have.

  6. Kathy says:

    Dear Kate,
    Your post was very touching and heartfelt. I’m sorry about your Global Crap day, but greatly appreciative of the moniker, which I will use with your permission, having lived through a few myself recently. I lost my father very suddenly last month, and am left to look after my mom who has dementia. I hope your mom is doing better. Sending prayers and blessings your way…

    • Kate Coffey says:

      Hugs out to you too Kathy, it’s been a tough month or so for many people I know. Feel free to use the moniker, I just hope you do not have to use it too often. Take care, Kate xo

  7. Gracie says:

    Hope you feel better soon! Much love, gracie

  8. Tandi says:

    Wow Kate, that is many horrible things. And harder when you are away from home? Sending you lots of love, and the knowledge that you are not alone.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s